A dear friend of mine sent me an article she wrote. As I read it I realized this is exactly my prayer for "the church". She shared with me that there were many times that she sat through prayer meetings listening to others share prayer needs, but felt that if she shared hers it would make her family the brunt of gossip. It is time that we stop "playing church" and start "being the church". She shared with me that prayer preceded every victory during their struggle and that prayer is what will preced the continued victories in their family. As we continue throughout this Christmas season let's be "the church" that Christ was born and died for.

With the permission of my sweet friend I am sharing her article with you. As you read it think if there is someone you can reach out to.

…Reflections…
Reflecting on my life over the past two years, I have seen God's grace carry me through the most difficult days of my entire life. It comforts me to know that I never lost a sense of God's presence and steady hand holding on to me. The spiritual battles in my family during the building of our church were deeply troubling, but God was also faithful. Many times my only goal was not to cry at church. Stepping into the sanctuary for our first worship service was emotional for me, as if a high price had been paid for something precious. But isn’t that how Jesus feels when He looks at us? Didn’t He pay the highest price because of His love for us?
I can say that the sorrows in my life have made the victories sweeter. When I see my sons praising God with their instruments, I am speechless with thanks to Him. The song inspired by Job 1:21 speaks my heart: "Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise, and when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, 'Blessed be the Name of the Lord.’ “
“Reflecting The Light”....this year’s theme for Women’s Ministry... makes me ask myself this question: If I am a mirror reflecting God's light onto others, how do they see themselves when they encounter the God in me? Do they walk away seeing themselves as a person that God values? Even broken mirrors can still reflect light if they’re clean, so I’m asking God to forgive the smudges and restore the shine I have lost in the struggle. I trust Him for even the strength to turn to Him, for He has proven Himself to be my trustworthy friend and Savior.

I was thinking about things that make me feel “safe” when talking to someone and I thought about a psychologist. When one confides in such a doctor they share intimate details about their life knowing that it will go no further than that little room. So, maybe we should keep this type on confidentiality in mind when someone comes to us with a prayer need or a hurt or temptation they are dealing with. We should just listen and then let it stay at that place. Even, if the future at some point, if that person does something to upset us or make us angry; what they told us still stays right where we left it. We do not bring it back up again to get back at them or tell someone else to make ourselves look better.

So, we ask ourselves, “Am I someone that will keep what I know in the little room?”

This is just something to consider. Let me know your thoughts on the use of our tongue and how it could affect the “safety of others”.

Blah, blah, blah....

Words… they can heal or hurt. When we talk about ways to make others feel safe, we need to consider our words. Are they positive or are they negative? Do our words lift others up or do they tear down? The best available numbers show that we use about 16,000 words per day.

Wow! 16,000 words per day? What are those words used for? Praise, adoration, gossip, self-glorification, slander, instruction, discipline, encouragement, prayer? I have always heard that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. What would we do if we didn’t get all our 16,000 words said in a day? Sometimes, the best thing is to hold our words.

Being Real With You

We have been talking about being real and so today I am going to practice what I preach.

I have been working on the blog for today and have not been able to focus. A dear friend of ours lost his daughter yesterday morning in a head on collision. She was only a senior in high school. She was a sweet girl who loved the Lord with all of her heart. So, my heart has been heavy for he and his family causing my concentration to be at the level 0. If you don't mind please lift up a prayer of comfort and encouragement for the Brinkman family. He also has a young son that is grieving the loss of his big sister. I think he is 13 yrs. old.

Thank you for understanding and for praying for this family. I will be looking forward to next week and would love any discussion that you might want to add between now and then.

A Safe Place

I John 4:7 “Dear friend, let us love one another, for love comes from God.”
I John 4: 11-12 “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
“ No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.”

Wow! I think the Lord has made it clear for us that we should love one another. His love for us is not conditional. Therefore our love for one another should not be conditional. This is the first thing we must understand in our walk of “being real” with one another. We need to offer a place of safety for others to come to us and share their burdens, trials, temptations, and joys. When we do this, we have also made a safe place for us to do the same.

What makes a place of safety? Well, that would be a place where there is no judgment or ridicule, but accountability through love and compassion. Where what is said is held in confidence and not made subject of gossip or “prayer request”. Where there is a shoulder to cry on and ears to just listen. Sometimes we feel like we need to “fix” the problem or the person with the problem, this is our human nature. But, we need to rely on God’s wisdom and let Him give direction. We need to remember that words are not always necessary.

Where do we start? I think the best place is with family and friends. God chose our families for us for a purpose, and even though we may not see eye to eye with them all the time, I believe He gave us our family as a place of refuge when we feel like there is no other. So, I guess we have to ask ourselves if we have made it a safe place for each of our siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc… You may be asking “does this include my spouse’s family?” I think it does. Matt. 19:5 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” God has chosen this family for us too. We should treat them the same. Then He blesses us with friends. These are people we are drawn to through our love for Christ, similar interests, etc… To grow this friendship we must be willing to “over look” certain characteristics. We seem to do this easier with our friends than we do our family. Why is that? Anyway, when we can make a place of safety in these two areas then we are able to start to open ourselves to our church family and those we encounter on a daily basis.

What a great way for us to show God’s love for one another. I know it is scary to do this and that will be our topic for next week.

Here's to Being Real

Well ladies it has been a long time since I posted last. So much has changed in my life. We have moved our ministry to Merkel, Tx. Todd is now the pastor of First Baptist Church. Everyone is so nice here and we are excited to see God’s purpose unfold.

Someone said to me the other day that I have such a blessed life. This caused much contemplation. We all have many layers to our life; many of which we do not let others see. We only let others see what we want them to see. God’s word says that we are to “carry one another’s burdens”, Gal. 6:2. This can not be done if no one knows our burdens? We must feel safety from judgment from our fellow brothers and sisters. I would like to look at this question over the next few weeks. Please join me and let us discover together how to share our burdens with one another so that our load may be lighter.

Hope to see you next Wednesday.

Darla

Relationship Checkup

Well, here I am, the mother of 2 college students and 2 junior high students. As a mother, I will do anything for any one of them. Sit up with them in the middle of the night when they’re sick, go to the store late at night for that item they forgot they needed the next day, put off getting something I need so they can have what they need instead.

Why do I do these things? I love them and I want them to know it.

Now, I think of all my heavenly Father has done for me. Why? He loves me and wants me to know it. He desires a relationship with me.

Sometimes we get so busy or so comfortable with our salvation, that we don’t stay hungry for our relationship with Him. When I spend time with my children and know who they are and they know who I am, then it is easier for them to show me respect and honor. Likewise, when I spend time with my Lord, I know who He is and He knows me. This is when it is easy to give Him the respect and honor He desires.

Do we need a relationship checkup?

Travelling this road together,

Darla

Fix Or Repair Daily

Psalm 20:7 ~ "Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God."


Some are familiar with our ongoing issues with 'the truck'. As one of my dear friends likes to say, "FORD stands for Fix Or Repair Daily." Regardless of our vehicular loyalties, we all have put our trust in the ability of man-made things.


This weekend, my chariot, with all it's 274 horses, failed me. Halfway between point A and point B, it just quit. I was frustrated, angry, hurt (that my beautiful symbol of strength had let me down) and unsure about what to do. Stranded on the side of the road, I was hit with the reality of the uncertainty of anything except the Lord our God.

What are we putting our trust in? Is it some material thing that we believe will never let us down, or possibly our ability to do and achieve? Maybe we need to be reminded that our life, our strength, our hope is in the Lord Almighty.

Maybe F.O.R.D. ought to be our spiritual standard. Now THAT's a better idea!

My girls and I watch old comedy/love stories. One of our favorites is “If a Man Answers.” with Sandra Dee and Bobby Darren.

In the film Sandra Dee’s mother tells her to use a pet training book to help her marriage. She uses the book thinking all along that she is “training” her husband until her mother points out that it has actually been training her.

Now, you may be asking “What was the purpose in that little story?” Well, ladies, if we stop and think about it; we love, cuddle, and spoil our pets. Imagine if we treated our husbands the same way. We should shower them with praise. We want our husband to be our “Knight in Shining Armor” so maybe we should treat him like he is. We need to acknowledge the things he does in a way that makes him feel worthwhile and needed.

Also, how many times have we wanted our husband to go shopping with us or to a romantic movie? But, how many times has he gone hunting, fishing, golfing, or any number of things and we had no interest in sharing it with him. Maybe, if we took the time to be interested in his interests, he would not mind so much making that trip to the mall or the flee market.

So, I am putting my theory to the test. Will you join me? Let me know what you discover.

Travelling this road together,

Darla

A Bit Behind and a Little Distressed

In this amazingly connected world, I am in a place that has 'limited or no connectivity'. That means no Man-stuff Monday yesterday. It puts me a little behind for the week, but brings to mind an interesting conundrum of our time.

With our ability to communicate so close at our fingertips, why do we seem to be so distant? Why are we, the followers of Christ, making less of an impact on the society in which we live? Why are we as parents so disconnected from our children?

It seems as though our ability to communicate more freely has only aided in making us more exclusive in our communication. We get into our huddles, be they in person or via online communities, and bask in our encouragement of one another. We have multitudes of friends online, but forget the importance of interaction with our spouse and children. I update my status, but forget to update my relationships.

Who have we impacted today? Does someone know more about Christ because of me? Has my spouse had real contact from me? (it's ok, I just emailed her) Are my children secure in their relationship with me because of time spent together?

Let's make some real contact and make a real difference.

Wednesday is for Women

I am sitting in a library looking at the shelves of books from floor to ceiling and as I see the knowledge around me, I have to stop and realize that one must be able to discern what we hear and read.

Sometimes, when we are trying to expand our knowledge, find a helpful resource, keep up with current events, or just reading for pleasure, we ignore the basic admonition that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge' (Pr. 1:7)

As a woman who is diligently seeking to increase my knowledge about being a disciple of Christ, as well as a godly wife and mother, I cannot disregard the basic principles laid out in scripture that 'guide me into all truth' (Jn. 16:13)

Travelling this road together,

Darla

Man-stuff Monday

Winning: Real Man Style

OK, The Masters is over, so it was an off week in golf. Few people probably watched the Verizon Heritage tournament and saw golfer Brian Gay win with a 20 under par to break the tourney record and beat his nearest opponent by 10 strokes. With this win, he assures himself an invitation to next year's Masters. Way to go, Brian!

Honestly, until yesterday, I had never heard of Brian Gay. I probably would not have even seen this event, but I was looking for something to take my Sunday afternoon nap to, and nothing lulls you to sleep like golf on television (except the peaceful hum of NASCAR). None of the big names were there for the tournament, so many will say Brian really didn't accomplish that much, but there were 3 people of great importance who watched closely as he putted in on the 18th green to cement the win.

After that final putt dropped in the hole, Brian's family ran to join him on the course. He scooped up one daughter in his arms and held the hand of the other. As he was being interviewed, he held his family close and shared this big moment with them. His daughters obviously knew their daddy's arms were a safe place even in that public spotlight, and this man seemed as comfortable with his child in his hands as he had been with the club a few minutes earlier.

My congratulations to Brian Gay. You've done well. (And you're a pretty good golfer, too.)

Family Time

Movie Review

We finally decided to see the new Dreamworks movie, 'Monsters vs. Aliens'. Sometimes Dreamworks can be a bit questionable in their content, but we found this new film offering to be overall acceptable. The story was compelling and the humor was age appropriate (that means my 10 year old daughter and I both laughed).

The only scene that had undesirable content, was when a government file pusher is entering a secure area of what appears to be a NORAD type facility and has to do a hand scan, retinal scan, foot scan and then sits on the scanner. If you have seen the trailer for the movie, this has been shown on TV.

The message of accepting yourself just as you are is related well through the story. We were glad to see the main character, Susan, realize her potential for good even though she wasn't just like everyone else. The General sets a good example of following through with a promise.

We saw the movie in 3-D by default, since the theatre we went to was only showing in that format. I initially thought the 3-D would be sub-standard, but was pleasantly surprised at the advances that have been made since Jaws 3. The effects were amazing, and just added to an already fun film. We left the theatre smiling and quoting memorable lines. Mom, Dad and the kids all had a great experience.

We give 'Monsters vs. Aliens' an A-. We also recommend keeping your glasses for a host of upcoming 3-D movies aimed at the family.

Film reviewed by Todd and Brook'lynn (age 10)

Man-stuff Monday

Find it, Fix it, Fund it!?!

Our oldest daughter is 18 and just bought her first car. She has saved her money from her 2 jobs and a few years of Birthday and Christmas gifts in order to pay for it herself. I am proud of her. She saved the money, she found the car, she paid for the taxes and title transfer. Pretty grown up, wouldn't you say?

She got the car, which is in GREAT condition, knowing the drivers window wouldn't go up all the way. I told her we would figure out what was wrong with it and get it fixed.

I do not have a great mechanical mind, but I am more than willing to take something apart and check it out. To make a long story short, I got into the door and it was a simple fix. The window works. The rain stayed out. Dad is the man!

This is the kind of stuff dads do, right? Find it, fix it, fund it! But Deuteronomy 6:6-9 gives us a different view of helping our kids. We are to teach them the ways of the Lord. Talk to them about the commands of God. Train them in the way they should go.

Fixing the window on the car was man stuff. I felt a sense of accomplishment when it was done. It was easy. The 18 years leading up to the purchase of the car has been more time consuming, and much more rewarding. She has a strong foundational faith because of the time spent from childhood til now. She is firm in her conviction of right and wrong because she has been pointed toward the truth of scripture. She knows the right direction for her life lies in following the will of God. THIS is a REAL accomplishment.

Today's man-stuff;
Eph 6:4 And you, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Wednesday is for Women

I have always taught my children that God has a specific plan for their lives. That they should always seek the Lord when choosing friends, extra-curricular activities, college, career, and their future spouse.

Recently, God showed me that I, too, need to continue to seek His plan for me. In Jeremiah 29:11, He tells us that His plan for us is not to harm us, but to give us hope for our future. Like a road map, we choose which direction we turn. He continues through v. 14 to show us that if we seek Him with our whole heart, He will show us the road we need to choose.

God has led me down many roads as wife, mother, friend, teacher, daughter, sister, and the list goes on. As our relationship with Christ grows, He is able to reveal more of His plan. The key is not to get so focussed on the road we are on that we do not hear Him tell us to make a turn.

So, if you are a young wife, mother of small children, have kids in school, or if your nest is empty and you are entering grandparenthood, God has a specific plan for you.

What a grand adventure!

Travelling this road together,

Darla

Man-stuff Monday

In a society that believes a family can be defined by any group of people that reside under the same roof, the idea of a man being the head of the home is intolerable. But since scripture isn't necessarily concerned with tolerance of human beliefs, we are going to hold to the Biblical standard of the husband being the head of the wife and his children.

This is not an arrogant stance on manhood. On the contrary, the Biblical model of a man, who is the head of the home, gives himself for the benefit of his wife and family. (Eph. 5:25, Eph. 6:4) Since he is the authority in the home, it is important that the man is responsible in his relationship to his authority, Christ. (I Cor. 11:3)

Proverbs 16:7 is a great testimony to building the right relationship with Christ. "When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him."

Don't misunderstand me here. I am not calling our wives and children the enemies of husbands and fathers, but if those who are opposed to us can be at peace with us, how much more our families?

Real man-stuff at home happens when real man-stuff happens in our relationship with Christ.

Blueprints for Families? Why Not?

When our kids were little, I loved Christmas eve when a gift had 'some assembly required'. Those words meant pulling out my tools and spending a long night of putting together something that would be adored and appreciated by the recipient the next morning.

There was a sense of anticipation, on my part, as little feet ran to the gift that I had, painstakingly, followed directions to assemble. The thrill in their eyes as they took in the wonder of this new possession, gave me a sense of pride because I knew what went into making that moment possible. They didn't know the struggle, the sweat (or the sorrow, upon finding a part was missing). They only saw the finished product.

Our families are of much greater value than a Christmas toy. They are a gift of heritage that we leave to our children and, ultimately, to the Creator of all things.

Shouldn't we painstakingly follow the directions He has given us to ensure the completion of the gift He has placed in our care? 'Some Assembly Required' is exactly where our families are continually. In need of care as the assembly process is ongoing.

We hope to provide ideas, some direction, and a little laughter on this blog as we work together to follow the blueprints to building stronger homes.